...so i touched it.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
