Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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