Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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