if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
