thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize