I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I want her autograph on my taint
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
