Betty ford says i'm here all night
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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