No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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