Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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