Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
