Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
