We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
