I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
