hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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