So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
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