we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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