dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
