Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
