Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
operation have a gay friend backfired
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
