Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
