So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
