Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
