Can Purell be used as lube?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
