Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
