smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
