Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
