real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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