i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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