it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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