just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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