I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
