I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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