True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Randomize