maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
