No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
