I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
