If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
