as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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