MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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