There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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