Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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