Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
