1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
