Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
birth control should be required to get into college
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize