Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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