Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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