hell yes lets make some ravioli
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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