the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
