It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
