Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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