U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
