I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
false alarm, still single
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
