It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
