he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
