She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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