Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
