Can i not drive my cunt home
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
