So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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